Today was wet to say the least i was so drenched after work and freezing cold!! not looking forward to what October may bring I have had too many bad Octobers to fathom what lurks ahead for this one. Tomorrow will be 8 years since my mothers death, seems like an eternity ago I miss her so much!! I have my lunatic sister calling me at 3am (gotta start turning the ringer off ) so this is the 1st got 30 more days to survive. I had been thinking a lot about my posts on here and maybe most of it is me venting and I suppose if the people i have targeted in my rants read it they would feel badly and that is not my intention, well I don’t know at the moment i suppose it is but my moods and mind changes so frequently that even i cant say I still feel the same hours and or days later. mostly concerning my kids. I love them deeply and they are my life. just sometimes they make it impossible to live with them. I suppose the same could be said for myself i have more mood swings than there are commercials during prime time T.V so now that i made my half ass apology , I feel better!!But at the time i felt exactly as i had written so no apologies there.
Everyday more and more all i get is attitude usually radiating form the testosterone and anger filled people in my so called family, all i hear is I talk to much, I ask too many questions, all I do is bitch. I am so over it!! I am the scapegoat as of lately for the males in the house and am getting so un -be-fucking-lievably sick of it!!
No one wants to converse unless it benefits them, well I’m going to clean house literally and figuratively and if people don’t start shaping up they will be shipping out!!
when i first started this *tumblr I had many ideas of what I thought it could be , but it has just become a bitch fest! if i cant find other things to talk about i may just cancel my account :(
I love to have the house all to myself, some people hate to be alone or get bored easily if they don’t have a gazillion friends around to entertain them, I love to be alone maybe not permanently or because i fail to breathe.
but i have to say having the whole house to myself without kids,Friends,the kids friends,extended family is just heaven to me. considering when the kids are here so are their friends and their friends friends and musical instruments of sorts, IPods and booze and messes and Wow I am getting a headache just writing about it. my main rant today is targeted at my eldest son who to sum it up in a nutshell is a bastard! he does less than nothing to help out around the house, pisses on my toilet seat mind you. (a WTF?? moment) supposedly he is an adult,his age reflects this ,however his Behavior does not . as best as i can surmise he is a man-child being hardly either or. he procrastinates incessantly and wont say a word to me unless it benefits him. why he still lives with me is one of life’s mysteries? I didn’t know it was possible to hold such contempt for your own child, but i do! I have gone more than half way on several occasions and he is like a rabid dog biting the hand that feeds him ( Literally) he likes to taunt people in a head games sort of way, I believe that is his favorite past time aside from the silent treatment that is his all time favorite!! I ask him something and he gives me no answer or says “What”?? even though he understood perfectly what I just said to him, he is a master at manipulation always needing to control situations/people. as of the late he has been unemployed since July and could really care less. I notice that his brother has started to inherit some of his attributes which saddens me greatly because he had always been the opposite of him. I understand the rebellion of the teenage years and can recall myself at that point in my life, so I just chalk it up to him being a late bloomer. I am thinking he (the eldest) is like a Cancer to the family, and maybe i should have him removed (kick him out) before it spreads any further!!
What is it with punctuality that doctors feel as though they are above it all?? I mean we can wait for hours for them to arrive and it is all good. but whoa if we are late we need to reschedule because chances are there isn’t enough time to see us ,probably because they over book people constantly, why is their time so valuable and ours worthless?? just pisses me off!! I drove my eldest son to a doctor appointment today all the way in Wellesley (I would be too happy never to see that town again) and we were there 15 minutes early (unheard of , for me) so I took the time to stretch and what not. the doctor shows up 20 minutes late and then proceeds to take another 5+ minutes to get out of her car and get settled in. She didn’t say a word to us, no apologies nothing! What is so sad is it happens all too frequently. But really what is to be done about these situations?? If we don’t like it we can always go some place else. Call me crazy but I would expect better from so called professionals.
we see it in the news everyday, “Surgeon leaves Patient on O.R table to go cash his check” there is a big WTF?? moment, what are these people thinking?? the world is going to hell in a hand basket!! and it isn’t just in the news I have seen the arrogance first hand on numerous occasions people just aren’t polite at all, the polite are like unicorns and other mythical creatures. It just Baffles me. I will go to the Post office to get my mail and hold the door for whoever is behind me or just hold it open for people who look like the need a hand and 90% of the time I wont even get a Thank you! How disturbing is that??
Getting gas at the local self serve station is another rant,My gas tank is on the opposite side as the rest of the worlds.( Leave it to the Swedes, or who knows maybe that is the common side in Sweden ) and so many times i have been cut off after waiting for what seems like an eternity by someone who obviously has eyes but likes to pretend they are Stevie wonder!
People that are Ill are a whole other rant, I wonder what those people are thinking who have colds and flu that just cough every where I mean every where I have had people “adults” for crying out loud cough on me when i have been waiting in line. is it seriously that difficult to cover your damn mouth?? consciously don’t these people think about these things, like maybe if the shoe was on the other foot would they want someone coughing up a lung on them??
It could be that I am too sensitive to too many things around me or that many people are desensitized.
I was originally going to Bitch about my roof, which is caving in and falling more and more every time it rains and it is supposed to rain from now until Saturday another WTF?? moment .
when i got sidetracked with the other bullshit.
I have been doing absolutely nothing these past few days aside from smoking 2 plus packs of $8 cigarettes . and playing Literati (Yahoo’s version of scrabble) . really I would prefer to just stay in bed til i wither away to nothing (gosh if that could happen ) I do nothing I get shit, I do something I get shit. I just can’t win!
The other day i am minding my business cleaning my house …deep clean! wound up with 5+ bags for the salvation army , anyway my son’s friend comes over and was hanging out, no problem and says to me he will be leaving later and taking all his stuff home with him, sounds great! music to my ears! fast forward 2 hours and I have his mother screaming in my ear that I need to bring him home! here is a WTF moment he currently lives a 45 minute drive from my house. Long story short, I couldn’t do it.
so then i get the kid ( he is 19 or somewhere in that neighborhood) sulking around my house and avoiding me for the next 24 hours. quick survey - when do people just showing up at your home become your sole endeavor??
and BTW you are never allowed to tell anyone NO , it is unwritten law. they will hate you forever and throw a tantrum if you do. you have been warned!
